Beforepeoplestarttearingthisapart,tellingmehowmuchitsuckedsotheycanfeelgoodaboutthemselves,realizethatthisisaparodyofalotofthestuffoutthere.Iftheoverall'badness'ofthisstoryoffendsyou,thenI'drecommendyoustopreadingfanfictioningeneral.
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